I Can't Lose You
by CuteVampireCollie
Summary: There's no one I can turn to after a nightmare except you. And then you say those words, "I love you." You make my heart flutter and leave me speechless. I've lost you multiple times already in my nightmares. Please don't leave me in real life. You're the only one who understands. Comfort me and make me whole. Katniss/Peeeta. Set during Catching Fire. Possible OOCness.


A/N: Wow, another Hunger Games fic…I'm impressed with myself. I've been a fan for sadly only a year now, and this is only my second HG story….shame on me. Anyways…This one's not a drabble like the other one was and it was inspired on an RP my best friend and I did over Skype, so I'm really hoping that she writes her own version of our RP as well. *hinthint* ;D You know who you are, sweetie. So write me a Katniss/Peeta fic that will make me swoon. Joking, you really don't have to if you don't want to. But you were making such a good Peeta…you'd do such a great fic!

Wow, rambling tangent there…ANYWAYS…I did make some things different. My dear friend, Aviditty should know some things I took out. Like the pinning. ;D *wink* Please tell me you remember what part I'm talking about. XD Okay, it's official….HG makes me even more hyper than normal, not to mention whacko and freaky. So now onto the disclaimer!

I do not own The Hunger Games. The rights and characters belong to the beloved and talented Suzanne Collins. Enjoy!~

...

My eyes snapped open, sweat immediately dripping from my eyelids down onto my cheeks as if I were crying. I leaned up slowly, looking around my surroundings, and gave a small sigh of relief at knowing exactly where I was. I put a hand to my head, my chilled knuckles feeling good against my almost feverishly hot face. It had been another nightmare. About Peeta.

With another sigh, I heaved myself up out of my bed and started to head toward Peeta's room. I tried to tell myself that I was only doing this to make sure he was alright and just asleep instead of dead, but another part of me knew the real reason why I was doing this. I needed him. I needed to be in his arms and to have him say that he understood what it was like.

I paused after opening the door, holding my breath as I hear the hinges emit a slight squeak. When I didn't hear anything, I opened the door the rest of the way and found Peeta curled up in his bed, the sheets wrapped snuggly around him. For once, he looked as if he was getting a peaceful night's sleep. And what with the Quarter Quell just around the corner, that was a good thing. Did I really want to disturb him? No. I didn't.

But my feet apparently had other ideas. I wasn't willing to move any closer to him for fear of waking him up, but my stupid appendages wouldn't let me back out of the room either. Finally after taking a few deep, albeit quiet breaths, I managed to stumble backward a couple steps, my hand now gripping the doorframe in a vain attempt to calm my pounding heart.

"Katniss…" I blinked at the sound of a soft groan, my fingers tightening their grip on the wood underneath my palm. Peeta leaned up, blinking leftover remnants of sleep from his eyes as he tried to focus his gaze on me. "I'm…I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright and…um…" Peeta's eyes narrowed and he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, patting the space beside him. "You had another nightmare, didn't you?" he asked grimly.

I swallowed thickly, managing to nod. For once he had been getting a good night's rest. And now I had ruined it. "Yeah, But it's no big deal. You're obviously alright, and I…I should be getting back to bed now." I turned to leave, my hand fumbling for the doorknob so I could shut the door on my way out. "Katniss." I stiffened. "Yes?"

"It _is_ a big deal. You don't have to act like it's not." I turned my head to look back at him and saw that he was still in the same pose as before, except now his hand was reaching out for me. Not like he was going to grab me, but like he was waiting for me to take it. "Katniss, come here," he murmured gently. "But you need your rest. Especially now before the Quarter Quell." Even as the words were leaving my mouth, I began walking back toward his bed, my hand almost timidly reaching out to take his.

Our fingers immediately weaved together and I sat down beside him, looking down at my lap instead of at his face. His fingers pressed under my chin and tilted my head up to meet his knowing, understanding gaze. "What happened?"

"You died…" I murmured, anguish and strain once more clenching my heart like twin steel vices. Those two words were enough to make me feel like I was still living in that horrible nightmare. I hated feeling so helpless. "You _died_, Peeta and there was nothing I could do. _Nothing_." I looked away, tearing my chin from the grip of his hand, my breathing growing short and harsh. When I felt his hand on my shoulder I could only shudder as I remembered him doing the exact same thing as in my dream, only this time his hand wasn't bloody and his grip didn't feel weak. It only took a moment for him to pull me into his embrace, strong and at the same time, soft.

My fingers clenched in his t-shirt as I quietly breathed in and out, in and out against his chest, making sure to drink in his soothing scent with every breath. "It's okay. You're alright. I'm here and I'm fine, Katniss. Alright? I'm here." I wanted nothing more than to just curl up in his arms and go back to sleep, but the nightmare was still on replay in my already overloaded brain. It just wouldn't go away. A quiet sob left my lips and I couldn't help but feel like I was disappointing everyone by the tears now slowly making their way down my face. Some Mockingjay…

I tried to rein it in, but the pain didn't want to be pushed away. It wanted to come out full force and be quenched with comfort. At least Peeta was good at the whole comforting thing. Because if this had been the other way around, I would just be awkwardly patting him on the back before pulling him down by my side to go to sleep. Comfort…just wasn't my thing. But at this very moment, I needed a heavy dose of said comfort.

Another sob left my mouth and I hiccupped, my knuckles quickly becoming white with the effort of holding Peeta's shirt so tightly. He began to pet my hair, running his calloused fingers through the tangled strands, still murmuring quiet nothings to me to calm me down.

Finally, my loud and rib-shaking sobs quieted down to mere whimpers. Then Peeta leaned back, pulling me with him so that I ended up being cuddled close to his chest against the pillows. "I love you." My breath hitched at his words. He hadn't said them since our last encounter with the cameras. He ran his knuckles gently down my cheekbone, the action so tender, so sweet…words couldn't even begin to describe it.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like when I say that. You just seemed so upset and it seemed like something you needed to hear." I nodded against his chest, the fear in my chest beginning to finally fade away as I both heard and felt his heartbeat steadily thumping underneath my ear. "Thank you," I whispered, closing my eyes and burrowing further into his embrace. And even though sleep was once again beckoning me to its door now that I was in the arms of my safe haven, I knew I just couldn't let our conversation end like that.

He had said those words, even in front of the cameras and screaming audiences, and he had meant every single word; every syllable heartfelt and genuine. And I had been the one acting. Wasn't it finally time for me to return those words to him and _mean_ them? No witnesses. No live audience. Just us.

And I suddenly realized that maybe I did harbor some sort of sentimental feelings toward him. How else would I be able to explain the fact that he was the only person I could go to about the nightmares? Haymitch would understand, but he wasn't the one I wanted to talk to. I didn't want to appear vulnerable in front of anyone. Except Peeta. He broke down my walls and brought forth a happier part of me that I hadn't even been aware of until he had come along. Whose comfort did I long for? Sure, I had my mother, Prim and Gale, but Peeta was the one that could always make me feel better with even just words. And even Gale's kiss…it had left me feeling confused -not to mention dizzy- at first, but it didn't ignite the same feelings of longing that Peeta's touch did.

And even though I was just now realizing -or finally admitting- all of these things…I had a feeling that I had started to feel this way not too long after our first kiss in the arena.

"Peeta." For a few dreadful moments there was only silence, making me fear he had already fallen back asleep. "Hmm?" He murmured, his fingers still playing with and sifting gently through my hair. "Can I talk to you?" He chuckled softly. "I thought that's what we were doing, but sure." I swallowed thickly, taking a deep but quiet breath in. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that all the times you've said _I love you_ and meant it I had to respond with acting. But…I think it was only acting at first. Because now…I'm not so sure how I feel anymore."

It was deadly quiet for a few painstaking moments and then finally I heard his breath catch. It had even felt like his heart had momentarily stopped, seeing as his chest was right under my ear. "Are you saying…?" "That I could really, _truly_ be in love with you? Yes." I buried my face back into his chest, my ears flushed pink with embarrassment. He pulled away from me, my face losing its current pillow, and cupped my face in both of his big, warm hands. His blue eyes bore into mine, searching for truth.

He exhaled, the sound a breathless whoosh of wonder, and pulled me back into his arms once more. "You're serious?" I nodded, relieved at hearing the steady beat of his heart once more. "So…no more acting? No more playing pretend?" I shook my head, a small smile blooming on my lips. He pressed his lips to the shell of my ear, his tepid breath against my skin making me shiver. "You don't know how happy that makes me."

He pressed his lips to mine, my lips immediately set on fire by his touch. He ran a hand down my bare arm, causing my skin to tingle as gooseflesh made itself known, his lips caressing, touching, whispering…making me feel _alive_. Like I really was the Girl On Fire.

Though I couldn't help but think that maybe now was a bad time to realize these feelings. The Quarter Quell was only a few days away, and the chance of both of us making it out of the arena alive a second time was slim to none. But...maybe something good could come out of all this chaos. Or maybe something already had.


End file.
